North Pole-Elves have confirmed that hackers have compromised the database that Santa uses to keep track of who is naughty or nice. The resulting hack caused a brief delay in processing and after restoring information from the backup system, all systems were normal and worked properly for delivery.
Lead Elf Ernest stated in a press conference held last Friday a week ago.
“The apparent state sponsored virus was the cause of the network breech. There was no attempt to alter the wish list database or attempt to delete information from any other part of the system. It was obviously done as part of a politically motivated attempt by a number of world leaders and politicians who are not nice. Santa doesn’t rely personally on the database or cloud storage so the impact was minimal at best.”
The resulting network outage and work stoppage was done at a key time in gift perpetration and the distribution lists has already been printed. “it was a little bit late in the season to have much of an impact. We had no idea initially that anyone would be interested in our data anyway. Santa had not wanted us to monitor the network. The elves had installed an improved monitoring system recently, without it we would have never known that the data was altered” Ernest had stated.
The elves had installed a computer system years ago. The newest system was installed only five years ago. Santa decided to go digital, thus the system after lobbing groups had threated to sue over his apparent waste of paper. The system of adding every child was completed only two years ago and is considered the largest index of good and no so nice children in the world.
Many in the data collection business have recently been lobbying congress to regulate the entire industry and force Santa’s network to share information with them. As silly as this may sound it is one of the intentions buried deep within the legislation. The incoming congress may take up the effort to regulate data brokers as an effort to create transparency within the industry. The data brokers include the credit reporting systems in the United States that have records of virtually every American citizen and many in Europe, Africa and Asia.
The data brokers legislation would legitimize and legalize the current process of collecting information. To a degree like the credit industry just more actors, Many companies actively collect information made from cell phone apps, computer web site browsing and credit card purchases. The industry is considered a multi-billion dollar a year venture, that is used by many firms to determine marketing decisions. The political race held in November included one of the heaviest uses of demographic information to date. Politicians depend on the information to be elected. They are not about to demonize the industry they rely upon so heavily.
The Santa databases should not be made available either. The very idea that any system that sells information that is taken though trickery, deceit or without explicit and direct consent should be recognized for what it is, stolen information. It should be destroyed not made into a personal goldmine of the taker.